Friday, January 25, 2013

The Projector: Publishers Clearing House Edition UPDATE

Sunday UPDATE: It was a better than expected weekend for the brother/sister paranormal execution squad known as Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. Jeremy Renner made it three #1 films in a row – four if your toss in MI4, which Paramount rolled out over two weekends. Its shelf life will be similar to a piece of cheddar left on the counter sans refrigeration but it could have been much worse for Paramount. The weekend's other two new offerings were monetarily savaged, Parker was Jason Statham's worst opening since '09's Crank: High Voltage and yet another nail in J. Lo's film-career coffin. And lest we forget Movie 43, a "project" that as one tweeter put to me, made $5M more than anyone expected. Make January end now.

1. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters $19M
2. Mama $12.8M
3. Silver Linings Playbook $10M
4. Zero Dark Thirty $9.8M
5. Parker $7M
6. Django Unchained $5M
7. Movie 43 $5M


This is a wretched weekend. None of the new releases was screened for the press before Thursday night, i.e., they're heaps of dung. If a studio doesn't have the confidence to show their product to audiences until hours before it opens, how on Earth can you have the confidence to shell out $12 for a ticket? As it is, I'm taking the one that's the most bulletproof when it comes to "stinkiness", Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. Young dudes don't give a flip about reviews and that's why the leather-bound brother/sister team of something rather slayers takes the title.
  1. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters $15.5M - If not for the 3D upcharge, my number would be even lower. Slapped with an 'R' rating, the Jeremy Renner headliner - shelved for some two years with MGM's financial woes - will take a hit sans the teen audience, lest their mommies buy their tickets.
  2. Mama $13.5M - Jessica Chastain's superstar status was cemented last weekend as the frightfest went waaaay over expectations with a $28M opening stanza. Its weekend-to-weekend drop will be precipitous but I'm betting it's less steep than your average horror offering.
  3. Zero Dark Thirty $10.5M - Chastain went one-two last weekend and should go two-three this time around as Kathryn Bigelow's hunt for Bin Laden has now banked $60M stateside. Much less in Pakistan.
  4. Movie 43 $9M - Featuring 12 different storylines from 12 different directors and one of the worst titles ever attached to a film, you may be wondering why I'm forecasting a figure higher than $3M? With stars like Hugh Jackman, Emma Stone and Seth MacFarlane involved, there's bound to be a few suckers out there.
  5. Parker $8.5M - The addition of J. Lo is the only thing that makes this Jason Statham actioner slightly different than his 87 prior. How far has Lopez fallen in the film world? She's barely featured in the ad campaign – a mistimed blink and you'd miss her altogether.